I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
