I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
