Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
