party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
