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I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
