Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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