If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize