i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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