yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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