'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
