the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up under a house in Key West
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
