I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
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