We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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