i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
