Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
