I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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