I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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