They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
