we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
