I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
