Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
youre lurking in front of me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
