I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
