She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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