Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
