unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
