I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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