problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
