High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
His nipple licking is glorious
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