Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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