I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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