we're blogging at a bar
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
