Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
