we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
