I am puke
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
