guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
