I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
