No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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