I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
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