he shaved USA in his pubs
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
