i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
