my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
