So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
