Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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