I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
