He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
