If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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