YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
