from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
