Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
