I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Use "feeling words"
Yay
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
